Tuesday, 3 May 2022

An amateur Friday the 13th fan theory catalogue

I studied Friday the 13th at Auckland’s Selwyn college for its media studies project on the history of biases shown in horror films. 

It was a roller coaster to see the tyrannically screwed up Pamela Voorhees killing off her fellows at what’s perhaps a monstrous path of inspiration place disguised as a camping ground (indicating that her just as bad birth dad possibly owned it for as long as she remembered, perhaps as an unfortunately OSHA-free propaganda place which centres mostly around his dad in law’s own cult of personality). A casual fan theory of mine is that those bloody excellent DAKKA skills of hers are mostly to remind fans that she’s from a family of badass anti role models. 

There is a possible grain of ironic truth in which, even though the camp/path of inspiration temple is mostly run and attended by various cult members (some of whom have tried their best to survive in such a very unforgiving place), it was founded by a wealthy mayor gone too far. Since it’s only a fan theory of mine, I’ll call him Harold Boyne. 

After Harold passed away in the basement of the camp itself, he got replaced (as the CEO pastor) by his own son in law, a lowly ex-mobster dude (fresh out of the various Asian wars before, within and after WW1’s timeframe) named Willy Burns, who had to marry the awful mayor’s only daughter and child, a middle aged basement dweller of a vampire known as Blaine Boyne. 

There are the familial issues behind Pamela and her plausible birth parents, as well as her maternal grandparents. While the daddy was a sociopathic war veteran who normally was merely petty, the mum was the sad product of a sick union between a wicked mayor and his sole long term maid, a lookalike of Cleopatra the 8th. 

At the surprisingly sequel hooked end of the first movie, she passed away in the goriest mainstream way possible! Even before that happened, she was one of the many factors in her very own unlucky son (by her husband’s friend’s own marital violation), Jason, into becoming the infamous breakout villain that many horror nerds have all known and loved. 

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